Sunday, November 27, 2011

His Bare Obsession by Lacey Thorn

It was just another day in the small town of Legacy for sexy gym owner Moira Madigan and her best friend Cass. Until they investigated a noise and stumbled upon the body of the latest victim of the rapist and killer who was preying on the women in their town. Now being stalked by this madman, Moira is put under the protective custody of Detective Gil Daniels. He's tall, dark, handsome and just about the sexiest thing she's ever seen. The good news is he's crazy about her too. The bad news is so is the killer and he'll use anyone to get to her.

Can she trust the detective to keep her body safe or only to bring her the ultimate pleasure a woman can have? Sex with Gil Daniels is better than anything she's ever dreamed of and she just might be falling in love. All she has to do is survive meeting his family and avoid the obsessed killer and she might find that happily ever after.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Where to start on this train wreck of a book? Holy moly! I was ready to DNF it in the first chapter, but decided to see where it went. Where it went was wrong. Wrong in every possible way. This was a freebie on Barnes & Noble, so I have one more thing to be thankful for this year – I didn't pay for this book.

The blurb is pretty self-explanatory. So… within the first chapter, Detective Gil Daniels has developed the serious hots for murder witness Moira Madigan. Knowing he has the hots for her, he volunteers to stay at her apartment for 'protection'.

So.. what irked me? I guess it might be easier to note what didn't irk me. That would be, uhhh... nothing.

Gil: So, there is a serial rapist/murderer on the loose. Moira & her roommate catch him at the tail end of his latest murder, and he attacks Moira. Enter Gil, the lead detective on the case. Within 24 hours, it's insta-love! Gil moves in with Moira, roughly takes her virginity, sexxes her up about 5 times on that first night, says I love you, and proposes. There is apparently no problem in the police department with this behavior. Within that same 24 hours, he has called his entire family and invited them to come to town to meet his future bride and has his mom bring his grandmother's ring for Moira.

Moira: Within 24 hours, Moira gives her virginity to Gil, becomes a nympho, magically gives amazing head, falls in love, and accepts his proposal.

Within about 72 hours, she has met his family completely naked, and has no issues with having screaming loud anal sex with his entire family on the other side of the bedroom door. Only a few days after losing her virginity, she's loudly demanding that Gil fuck her in the ass.

Together: After being attacked by the killer, and having to be on her guard 24/7, Gil surprises Moira in the shower, and she's pissed at the way he scared her. He gets pissed at her for being pissed at him and basically forces himself on her. And within minutes, she's so sorry it's so hard for him and she's begging him to do her yet again.
"You. You. You. It's all about how you feel, how it makes you look. Well, fuck you Gil! What about how I feel? You scared me in the shower and then had the gall to yell at me for being scared. In trying to get away from you and oyur temper, I end up maked in front of your family. Oh yes, I really enjoyed meeting Griff in the buff, so I decided to meet the rest of your family that way as well. Why at least this way when I kick your ass to the curb maybe one of your brothers will have liked what they saw enough to take me in."
"Neither of my brothers will ever touch you, Moira. You're mine. You belong to me. You'd best start remembering that."

"I don't belong to anyone, Gil. I'm not a possession of yours."
Now, so far, it sounds like she's standing up for herself. And rightfully so, since Gil is pretty much an asshole. But just wait…
Gil pulled her to him and hugged her close. "No you are not a possession. What you are is the woman I love, the woman who I can't imagine my life without." He let out a harsh sigh and squeezed her tighter before releasing her so that he could look into big green eyes. "I know that you are scared baby. The truth is that so am I. Every time I dealt with Lacey's murder it was like a brutal reminder that it could have been you. I need you like I have never needed anyone in my life, Moira. I've seen what this animal does to these women and I couldn't handle it if he got to you. I just couldn't handle it."

"Oh, Gil, I never even thought about this scaring you.… Sometimes I like it when you get a little possessive.… I'm the lucky one."
And just like that, it's all about Gil, and Moira starts begging him to fuck her. Then later on in that same scene, Gil screws her anally. Without lube! Like 48 hours after he takes her virginity.

And they never once use a condom. Never. He roughly screws her something like 5 times on the night he takes her virginity. When she notes they didn't use anything, he tells her he's safe. And she's magically on birth control. Oh, well, ok then. Phew!

And the prose. Oh my goodness! When Moira's magical fellatio skillz kick in, Gil yells, "I'm going to come, baby. I'm going to fill that sexy mouth with my hot fluid. Drink it all up, baby. Drink it all up and don't spill a drop! Oh yes, baby, oh God yes!"

I read this passage aloud to my hubby as I was snorting, and he said, "Isn't that what I usually say?" LMAO!!

Oh, and the editing problems! Constantly, one brother's name is mistakenly used in place of another.

So, Gil is the lead detective on this serial rapist/murder case, and he never ever does any police work, unless you count investigating Moira's uterus with his tongue. Yet, magically, the case gets solved!

There is just so much wrong with this book, I could go on for days. It's a reminder of why I don't read Ellora's Cave books anymore. Over the top unrealistic with the smexxing, and plot holes as big as the heroines' hoo-hahs.

Apparently it's the first in a series about Gil & his siblings. Enjoy the entire series!

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Loose Ends by Tara Janzen

Another rewarding experience in my whiz bang return to reading was Tara Janzen's Loose Ends. This was book 11--and the final book--in Janzen's Steele Street series. Aside from Robb's cops, the Steele Street boys have been the only other cast of characters to drive me out into the cold night--straight to Walmart for the next one or three books in a series. Once I read book one, I had to catch up right then, to the exclusion of all other titles or authors. They were that memorable, that engaging. Particularly Superman, likely the most memorable hero in my last 10 years of reading.

I've kept up with this series throughout the years and will admit there were some that didn't grip as hard as others. Common among them all however, was a humor among the men that rivaled Brockmann's SEALs and an adoration of all things female that set Janzen's men well and truly apart from the rest. There is simply nothing sexier than a man completely enamored of all things "girl". These guys worship every womanly inch and accessory, bringing to mind John Mayer's song Your Body Is A Wonderland.

So Superman is my fave, yes. But J.T.? Wow. In Loose Ends, Janzen brings him home. It was as powerful as I expected. Like Robb and Brockmann, Janzen allowed her characters to lend truth to the story. Hard to explain my thought here, but it is her established characters--acting in character--that set the stage and dictate the events. They encounter J.T. right at the beginning of the book (leaving off from Breaking Loose) and simply take it from there. No backstory or explanation needed to bring the reader into the present moment. And because Janzen's characters are so memorable, I instantly recognized them. All of them. And fell right back in with them with the same ease I pick up Robb's bi-annual In Death releases.

Interestingly, through J.T.'s story, I developed a new appreciation for Gillian, another of Janzen's characters in this series (her story was featured in Crazy Sweet in 2006). In that sense, Janzen's powerful characterization worked in reverse as well as drive. She used it to power this story and revive those that came before it.

I pulled two excerpts or quotes from the book before I put it down--both examples of how Janzen's cast delivered J.T.'s story. In the first, Hawkins (Superman) answers Dylan's concerns about the altered J.T. Here, he gave us the heart of this book:

"Hell, Dylan. If he wanted to hurt people, he would have been throwing fragmentation grenades, not flash bangs." Again Hawkins didn't hesitate. "And Red Dog said he had her dead to rights on the tenth floor, and he obviously didn't pull the trigger. And he didn't hurt Suzi Toussi in Paraguay either. Jane's a burden, an accident that happened in his getaway car. She's not an asset. He came for the girl, and you saw Scout. You can't beat that kind of loyalty into somebody. She's a straight-up girl, fully self-actualized. She's been well cared for and well loved. Whatever J.T. remembers of himself, he hasn't lost his intrinsic guardian tendencies. How many times did he save you?"

In the second, we get that dry humor. Like the first excerpt, you really have to have read this series and know these characters to get the full effect. But for those of you who have, this is Dylan on the phone to Hawkins:

"I want you and Creed to quit dicking around out there and get the damn job done," Dylan said. "Make it so, Superman."

Dicking around?

"Yes, sir."

The radio went silent, and Creed gave him a questioning look. "What's up?"

"We're supposed to quit dicking around."

Creed nodded, "Good idea."

Like I said, a rewarding experience for this exiled reader. A welcome home kind of experience. Felt really really good.

Looking back over my words here, I will apologize to those looking for a review. If you haven't read Janzen, this will be like trying to catch up to the drunks at a party that's been going on for hours. I'd rather steer you to a proper book blurb, pretty cover and helpful link to the Steele Street book list.


Six years ago, the Special Defense Force mourned the loss of J. T. Chronopolous. Now the striking soldier is back with scant memory, a new name—Conroy Farrel—and one single mission: to bring down SDF. But SDF has its own plan: get him back at any cost. And so they’ve set a trap for Con, a trap that Jane Linden accidentally steps into. With darkness falling and the night heating up, Con finds himself on the run in an oddly familiar 1967 Pontiac GTO with a drop-dead-gorgeous brunette named Jane by his side. Who she is he doesn’t know. Or does he? Jane certainly hasn’t forgotten him. When she was a teenager, he caught her picking his pocket. Now the former street thief is all grown up and gone legit—and the effect she has on Con is all too clear: pure, sweet longing. Con’s not sure if Jane is there to save him or to take him down. But one thing’s certain: With desire leading the way, all bets are off.
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