Sunday, November 27, 2011

His Bare Obsession by Lacey Thorn

It was just another day in the small town of Legacy for sexy gym owner Moira Madigan and her best friend Cass. Until they investigated a noise and stumbled upon the body of the latest victim of the rapist and killer who was preying on the women in their town. Now being stalked by this madman, Moira is put under the protective custody of Detective Gil Daniels. He's tall, dark, handsome and just about the sexiest thing she's ever seen. The good news is he's crazy about her too. The bad news is so is the killer and he'll use anyone to get to her.

Can she trust the detective to keep her body safe or only to bring her the ultimate pleasure a woman can have? Sex with Gil Daniels is better than anything she's ever dreamed of and she just might be falling in love. All she has to do is survive meeting his family and avoid the obsessed killer and she might find that happily ever after.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Where to start on this train wreck of a book? Holy moly! I was ready to DNF it in the first chapter, but decided to see where it went. Where it went was wrong. Wrong in every possible way. This was a freebie on Barnes & Noble, so I have one more thing to be thankful for this year – I didn't pay for this book.

The blurb is pretty self-explanatory. So… within the first chapter, Detective Gil Daniels has developed the serious hots for murder witness Moira Madigan. Knowing he has the hots for her, he volunteers to stay at her apartment for 'protection'.

So.. what irked me? I guess it might be easier to note what didn't irk me. That would be, uhhh... nothing.

Gil: So, there is a serial rapist/murderer on the loose. Moira & her roommate catch him at the tail end of his latest murder, and he attacks Moira. Enter Gil, the lead detective on the case. Within 24 hours, it's insta-love! Gil moves in with Moira, roughly takes her virginity, sexxes her up about 5 times on that first night, says I love you, and proposes. There is apparently no problem in the police department with this behavior. Within that same 24 hours, he has called his entire family and invited them to come to town to meet his future bride and has his mom bring his grandmother's ring for Moira.

Moira: Within 24 hours, Moira gives her virginity to Gil, becomes a nympho, magically gives amazing head, falls in love, and accepts his proposal.

Within about 72 hours, she has met his family completely naked, and has no issues with having screaming loud anal sex with his entire family on the other side of the bedroom door. Only a few days after losing her virginity, she's loudly demanding that Gil fuck her in the ass.

Together: After being attacked by the killer, and having to be on her guard 24/7, Gil surprises Moira in the shower, and she's pissed at the way he scared her. He gets pissed at her for being pissed at him and basically forces himself on her. And within minutes, she's so sorry it's so hard for him and she's begging him to do her yet again.
"You. You. You. It's all about how you feel, how it makes you look. Well, fuck you Gil! What about how I feel? You scared me in the shower and then had the gall to yell at me for being scared. In trying to get away from you and oyur temper, I end up maked in front of your family. Oh yes, I really enjoyed meeting Griff in the buff, so I decided to meet the rest of your family that way as well. Why at least this way when I kick your ass to the curb maybe one of your brothers will have liked what they saw enough to take me in."
"Neither of my brothers will ever touch you, Moira. You're mine. You belong to me. You'd best start remembering that."

"I don't belong to anyone, Gil. I'm not a possession of yours."
Now, so far, it sounds like she's standing up for herself. And rightfully so, since Gil is pretty much an asshole. But just wait…
Gil pulled her to him and hugged her close. "No you are not a possession. What you are is the woman I love, the woman who I can't imagine my life without." He let out a harsh sigh and squeezed her tighter before releasing her so that he could look into big green eyes. "I know that you are scared baby. The truth is that so am I. Every time I dealt with Lacey's murder it was like a brutal reminder that it could have been you. I need you like I have never needed anyone in my life, Moira. I've seen what this animal does to these women and I couldn't handle it if he got to you. I just couldn't handle it."

"Oh, Gil, I never even thought about this scaring you.… Sometimes I like it when you get a little possessive.… I'm the lucky one."
And just like that, it's all about Gil, and Moira starts begging him to fuck her. Then later on in that same scene, Gil screws her anally. Without lube! Like 48 hours after he takes her virginity.

And they never once use a condom. Never. He roughly screws her something like 5 times on the night he takes her virginity. When she notes they didn't use anything, he tells her he's safe. And she's magically on birth control. Oh, well, ok then. Phew!

And the prose. Oh my goodness! When Moira's magical fellatio skillz kick in, Gil yells, "I'm going to come, baby. I'm going to fill that sexy mouth with my hot fluid. Drink it all up, baby. Drink it all up and don't spill a drop! Oh yes, baby, oh God yes!"

I read this passage aloud to my hubby as I was snorting, and he said, "Isn't that what I usually say?" LMAO!!

Oh, and the editing problems! Constantly, one brother's name is mistakenly used in place of another.

So, Gil is the lead detective on this serial rapist/murder case, and he never ever does any police work, unless you count investigating Moira's uterus with his tongue. Yet, magically, the case gets solved!

There is just so much wrong with this book, I could go on for days. It's a reminder of why I don't read Ellora's Cave books anymore. Over the top unrealistic with the smexxing, and plot holes as big as the heroines' hoo-hahs.

Apparently it's the first in a series about Gil & his siblings. Enjoy the entire series!

5 comments:

  1. I read your review, and for all I know it's a cogent, well written review of a book you didn't enjoy. It certainly reads that way, and that's why I subscribe to the blog.

    However, that bit about Ellora's Cave? A slap in the face.
    Yes, I write for EC, and I'm glad I do. I don't know the author of this book, because I'm one of hundreds on Ellora's Cave's author list.
    Tarring us all with the same brush is a bit hard, no?
    No, I'm not issuing a challenge, or anything of that nature. But if you do read one of mine, I hope you enjoy it more than you did this one. Same publisher, different book, different author. Probably different editor, come to that.

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  2. I am, admittedly, being a touch irrational about my current read (but I'm a big enough girl to admit it - so does that make it better?) - and this review helps to put it all in perspective for me. Yes, one of my big ol' hot buttons is getting pushed, but my eyes aren't bleeding out of my head either.....

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  3. Hi Lynne,

    I admit to making a sweeping generality about EC. And I'm sorry if you were offended. There are authors that I follow no matter the publisher (and yes, you are indeed one of those!). Even if the editing may be poor for those books, the author is someone I can rely on for a well-written book that makes sense.

    I've just found that more and more, many of those authors have left EC and moved to other publishers, so there are fewer reasons for me to keep going back.

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  4. Definitely pass on this one. Thanks for the review!

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  5. Oh God how I laughed. The shame of it is that the blurb (at least the first paragraph of it) does make it sound exciting. By the second it sounds way too familiar and too stupid at the same time.

    "and has no issues with having screaming loud anal sex with his entire family" It took me a couple of reads before I understood she hadn't in fact had anal sex with his entire family. I have to say by that stage I was disappointed she hadn't! Yech!

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Have you read it? What do you think?

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